Rogue One – Definitely A Star Wars Story ****

This review could actually be quite short. The subtitle to the movie says it all: it’s a Star Wars story. So Star Wars fans (which group probably includes all of humanity save some undiscovered tribes deep in the Amazon basin) should go see it.

Nuff said.

But in the unlikely event you’re here to learn more about the movie instead of CLOSING THIS BROWSER TAB AND BUYING YOURSELF TICKETS TO THE NEXT SHOWING RIGHT THIS MINUTE, here’s some more observations on quite how awesomely good a Star Wars story this movie is.

Because it is.

Okay, there’s some cringeworthy speechifying* here and there, forcing bits of moralizing or characterization down the viewers’ throats at the expense of tempo and believability.

There are shockingly few female characters with any level of agency in the story, a flaw so pervasive that the original script cannot but have been written by J.R.R. Tolkien.

And, infuriatingly, numerous very cool scenes from the theatrical trailer do not show up in the movie at all.

But all of Rogue One‘s weak points combined add up to half a scene’s worth of flaws in The Phantom Menace (or the equally embarassing other episodes in the “new” trilogy). And whereas Rogue One shares a lot of its strong points with The Force Awakens–good writing, excellent cinematography, gritty realism, very cool characters, and the grimy aesthetic of the original trilogy–Rogue One has one up** on its predecessor: its very own story.

And speaking of the story: even though the very first Star Wars movie ever has in theory spoiled the ending to this new movie for us as early as back in 1977, it turns out to not be spoiled at all. For as I sat watching this wonderful, exotic-planet-sprinkled, harrowing-battle-infested, cool-martial-art-riddled movie, I was swept along with its narrative to such an extent that the details of the ending managed to come as a complete–and shocking–surprise nevertheless.

And to extinguish any lingering doubt about the humongous saga-worthiness of this Star Wars story, the writers have managed to merge the ending to this interquel seamlessly with the opening scenes of its 1977 chronological successor, and in passing fixed a glaring plot stupidity that has marred the saga for 39 years, turning that very stupidity into one of its main dramatic strengths.

I’m giving Rogue One 4 out of 5 stars. The Godfather it is not, but in the Star Wars saga, it’s right up there with The Empire Strikes Back.


* But let’s face it: The Force Awakens has cornered the market on cringeworthy speechifying last year, and Rogue One isn’t a tenth that bad.

** Or two, if you count its relative inner logic in comparison with the maddening parade of logical inconsistencies and stupidities in The Force Awakens.