Messing With The Messer


[phone rings]
Me: “Hello?”
Stranger: “Hello sir. I am calling from the technical department at Microsoft.”
Me: [suppressing my first instinct to hang up, and deciding to have some fun with this evil hacker instead] “Oh, hello.”
Evil hacker: “Yes. Because, the reason why I am calling you sir, is that… You are a Windows 10 user, yes?”
Me: [non-committal sound]
EH: “Yes, because we have discovered a vulnerability in your system.” [bunch of made-up bullshit tech lingo] “We need to fix that right now.”
Me: “Oh good. Let’s do that.”
EH: “Yes, good.” [puzzled undertone in his voice, as if he is not used to people biting] “So, to fix the problem, I first need your Microsoft Live ID.”
Me: “Yes, of course. My name is Isac Montoyou, and my LiveID is is imontoyou@outlook.com.”
EH: “Thank you, sir. And in order to fix the problem from our side, I will also need to log in to your account one time.”
Me: “Of course.”
EH: “Can I have your Live ID password, please?”
Me: “Of course. Let me spell that for you, shall I?”
EH: “Yes, thank you.”
Me: “My Live ID password is: capital eff, you, see, kay, space, capital why, oh, you, exclamation mark.”
EH: “Thank you, sir.”
Me: “Not at all, thank you!”
[hanging up, in the satisfying knowledge that while he was on the phone with me, he wasn’t trying to con anyone more gullible than me]